Practice Makes PURPOSE: Six Spiritual Practices that Will Change Your Life and Transform Your Community by C. Paul Schroeder

Author:C. Paul Schroeder [Schroeder, C. Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hexad Publishing
Published: 2017-09-13T22:00:00+00:00

Letting Go of Expectations

I have to be honest: I rarely give anything as freely as this. Instead, I tie expectations to my gifts—little strings that dictate, in my mind, how that gift should be used. For instance, let’s say I have a young nephew whose birthday is coming up, and I want to give him an expensive bicycle as a gift. My brother has been out of work for some time, and I know things are tight for his family financially. They can’t afford a lot of new things for their children, and I wonder if my nephew Owen feels embarrassed that his clothes and shoes aren’t as nice as those of other kids. I think having a really nice bicycle might make him feel less out of place and more at ease with his peers. When I imagine my nephew riding his new bike, I picture the look of pride and joy on his face as he pedals with his friends, his shiny new frame standing out among the group.

In this situation, my intention is that my nephew should feel good about himself and have good relationships with others. My expectation is that riding a fancy bicycle will bring this about. That could happen—but the universe often has other ideas.

When I pull up in the driveway of my brother’s house a few weeks later, I am shocked to see Owen riding a bike that is obviously not the one I purchased for him. It is a much simpler and less expensive model, and lacks many of the accessories on the bike I chose. I am full of questions as I get out of the car. Did the bike I purchased get stolen? Did my brother exchange the original bicycle for a cheaper one in order to pay bills? I feel angry and upset, but also sorry for my nephew. I am sure he must be so disappointed to be riding this cheap bicycle instead of the really nice one I bought for him.

When Owen sees me, he immediately rides over to give me a hug. I’m not sure what to say, but my nephew excitedly starts to explain what happened before I can ask. He thanks me for the beautiful bicycle, but admits that he felt a little embarrassed to ride it because it was so much nicer than most of his friends’ bikes. He felt especially bad because one of his friends is from a family that can’t afford to buy a bicycle for him. So, after talking it over with his parents, he decided to exchange the bicycle I bought for one that cost only half as much and to use the extra money to purchase a bicycle for his friend.

At that moment, my nephew’s friend comes riding up on an identical bike. Owen gives me another hug and then rides off with his friend. I can’t help but notice the look of incredible pride and joy on his face as I watch him ride.

My intention for my gift was realized, but in a way that was completely contrary to my expectations.

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